You're Welcome For Those Bullet-Resistant Car Seats, Scott Pruitt!

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In what feels like a never-ending race to the bottom, Scott Pruitt added to his list of public trust violations and legal transgressions when he told the salesman at his local Chevy dealership “I’ll add those bullet-resistant car seats, please! Just put ’em on the taxpayers’ tab!”

Well, if it’s a race, at least Pruitt is racing in style.

First of all, how does that even work? Car seats that resist bullets? Seated in a car, isn’t one typically most vulnerable to flying bullets from the direction opposite the car seats? Granted, I’m no forensic specialist, but bulletproof seat covers don’t sound like they’d be much more effective plain old Corinthian leather.

Second… how are those a thing? Is that American exceptionalism at work? Here I thought spray-on hair was the pinnacle of American achievement.

So yeah, The Washington Post reports that last year EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt felt it necessary to upgrade his official EPA vehicle from the Chevy Tahoe his predecessors were happy to use to the more-expensive Chevy Suburban because, shoot, it’s not his money.

Meanwhile, that Chevy Tahoe? It sits idle, its lease renewed for over $9,000. Of course, you’re paying for that lease while you’re paying for the new Suburban’s lease (which is over $10,000). It’s okay, though… all the cool kids are skipping lunch these days.

Who can say what’s more appalling? That the list of Pruitt’s extravagances keeps growing ever-longer and ever-more disgusting, or that clearly his boss doesn’t have any issue with that (not even with how it looks, which at least sometimes matters to the reality TV reject in the Oval Office)?

Of course, The Donald had this to say just this morning during a photo op with Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe:

“Many of the world’s great leaders request to come to Mar-a-Lago,” Truimp wheezed while Abe stood by, doing his best Ben Affleck impression. “Now indeed it is the southern White House.”

Move along! No attempts to profit off the Presidency to see here, folks!

So clearly, like they say, the Republic rots from the head. Enjoy those SUVs, Scott Pruitt! Hopefully that kevlar doesn’t keep the seat warmers from keeping the seat of your taxpayer-funded slacks toasty!