Last updated on June 6th, 2014 at 12:50 am
Donald Sterling, Los Angeles Clippers owner of racist and misogynistic infamy, doesn’t understand why you think he’s a racist. So he’s explaining it again to you.
He did it as an aphrodisiac, you fools. ‘Cuz everyone knows that racist comments were the best way to bed his assistant, V. Stiviano, a black woman, and no white man has ever expressed jealousy over the woman he wanted wanting a black man instead. Oh, gosh, no – that’s fresh and totally not racist at all. No history of lynching there.
Yesterday Sterling told us he wasn’t a racist and today Sterling explained why, in a secret recording exclusive published by Radar Online. Listen here:
“I’m trying to have sex with her. I’m trying to play with her. You know, if you’re trying to have sex with a girl and you’re talking to her privately, you don’t think anybody’s there. You may say anything in the world, what difference does it make?”
“What the hell! The girl is black. I like her. I’m jealous that she’s with other black guys. I want her. So what the hell. Can I in private tell her, ‘I don’t want you to be with anybody?’ I mean can I, am I a person? Do I have freedom of speech? I wish Magic Johnson was talking to a girl… He might say anything. He might say he has the biggest pen*s in the world.”
Oh. Yeah. That’s totally not racist.
The white man’s fear that the black man has a huge pen*s that is obviously going to steal all of the precious women away from him, thus he has to smear the black guy, has a history. This was the source of many false rape accusations against black men and subsequent lynchings, so yes, it totally makes everything so much better to know that Sterling is not a racist – he was just playing one out of jealousy of Magic Johnson’s privates. Or something.
And just in case you missed it, the victim of Sterling’s racism is not black people. OH NO. The victim is Donald Sterling, because this girl, to whom he expressed racist sentiments in an effort to woo her into having sex with him, had the nerve to tape him being a racist. He lamented, “Then if the girl tapes it and releases it, my God, it’s awful.”
Well, yes. Women are horrible creatures who sometimes break that secret, implicit vow that all females unknowingly swear to in order to protect the privilege of the patriarchy. That is, they swear to never bust a creepy man hitting on them with even creepier dialogue. The nerve of this woman, taping Sterlings’ own words! This is clearly all her fault. See how that works?
Whisper sweet racism to the ladies, Mr. Sterling; we LOVE it. And of course, doing it to get a woman into bed because you were jealous of her black suitor’s privates totally makes it not racism. Well played, sir.
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