One Bad Tripp: A Live Review of Bristol Palin’s Crime Against America

Last updated on February 8th, 2013 at 11:54 am

After America got their nightly dose of child abuse disguised as artistic pursuit on Dance Moms, they were force fed a horrific descent in to reality TV hell courtesy of Bristol Palin.

The first thing one notices about this show is that Bristol says her mom is her inspiration which is obvious as Bristol has followed mom into the anything for a buck child exploitation business. We aren’t five minutes in and Sarah makes her first appearance spewing a hunk of her homespinnyness for pay like Max Headroom in a 1980s Coke commercial.

Surprisingly, Sarah didn’t end her blurb by telling the kids this one’s free, that gold usually costs you ten large.

Palin Irony # 1: Sarah Palin yelling at Willow for quitting her job via text.

The more Sarah is on screen the more you understand why there was no season two of Sarah Palin’s Alaska. Bristol says mom inspired her again. Hmmm, what could the agenda be here? Bristol showed off her Mama Grizzle skills by calling Tripp the center of her life and then referred to a child as an it. (The apple really didn’t fall far from the Palin tree.)

By far the most interesting character on this show is Tripp, and he’s three.

Bristol once again shows off her parenting skills by taking “babysitter” Willow shopping. The question on America’s mind is who is watching Tripp? (My guess is the nanny. All single moms have nannies right?)

Bristol Palin claims not to care about her image. Bristol Palin has had lots of plastic surgery. Never think about the contradictions in Palin logic, or your head will explode.

Once again, any scene without Tripp is not worth watching. It is a shame that such an adorable child is being exploited so shamelessly for cash.

Bristol rides a bull. Sarah Palin gets called a whore. Bristol goes all homophobe as is the Palin way. Lawsuit still pending against Bristol and Lifetime.

What’s worse than reality TV? Reality TV with a star who is so dull, her three year old son has more depth and charisma.

Where Dance Moms is so over the top and fun, as in we know they have to stage and edit this stuff, because seriously? No one behaves like that, and if Abby does why do these women keep letting their children near her? Why hasn’t CYS shut down the Abby Lee Miller Dance Company yet? (Bristol is so dull that viewers are sitting at home reminiscing about the good old days of 9 PM Eastern and Dance Moms.)

Bristol tries to cry over the bar confrontation that she escalated, and uses her reality show to do some Grade A self-pitying. Bristol wants America to know that her life is so hard due to the fame that she has courted.

It has been roughly 20 minutes since there has been any sighting of Tripp. Being a single mom must be so hard for Bristol. (Bristol claiming that she speaks for single moms is a lot like Ann Romney speaking for average women.)

Critics have compared Bristol and Willow to the Kardashians. I think that is an insult to the depth and intellect of the Kardashians. While talking to a friend, Bristol says she is so busy, and the first thing she mentioned was her constant travel, because you know, all single moms struggle with the constant travel. (How does Bristol manage to do it all alone? /sarcasm)

Irony # 2: Bristol Palin volunteers with Help The Children while she leaves her own child with someone else.

Palin Logic: Willow complains that she has to watch Tripp every day, but wait a minute, didn’t she come to LA to watch Tripp? Willow with a dose of that Palin selfishness states that she is bailing on Tripp.

At 10:44 PM ET we have a Tripp sighting. Tripp says, “California is too far away.” I realize that the end of this episode is too far away. Bristol answers Willow’s homesickness by making it all about her.

Poor Bristol has all of Sarah’s desire to grift, but none of the talent for it.

Selfish Bristol tries to guilt Willow into staying and taking care of her child by using Tripp as a weapon. (Bristol learned well from Sarah that the best weapon she has against others is her child.) Bristol claims she needs her family. If she needed her family so much why did she take off to LA? Oh yeah, money.

Willow does herself a favor and gets the hell away and abandons this sinking ship. (She’ll be back.)

Palin Irony #3: Bristol sells a reality show about being a single mom, then whines about having to take care of her child on her own.

10:56 PM ET: Tripp gets screen time.

10:58 PM ET
: Sarah Palin gets called a rock star again. Her agenda to convince America that she is still somebody continues.

Let’s call Life’s A Tripp what it really is. This is another platform for Sarah Palin to try to rehab her image, while everybody makes a quick buck of off stupid television executives who believe that Sarah Palin and her brood can bring ratings. It is a guarantee that the show will do a good first week rating, but will it follow Mom’s reality show ratings plunge?

That does it for the first episode of Life’s A Tripp. If you enjoyed this review let me know, and we’ll all take more bad Tripps with the Palins.

Jason Easley
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