GOP Holds Stephen Colbert Hostage in the War on Women

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Last updated on February 8th, 2013 at 12:26 am

In the name of fighting the GOP, let’s face it we don’t have the corporate backing, or the dirty tricks. We do have facts and logic.

Today’s political environment is intense, serious and at times just plain absurd. While we respond to the intense and serious every day, until now we haven’t had much opportunity to address the absurd. We do now, thanks to Lipstick Liberal and her unique brand of political humor.

While the issues are serious, there are times when you just have to laugh at the absurdity of the GOP’s take on matters like the war on women. After proposing laws that would take women back to the dark ages, they denied the war on women.

While winning control of the House of Representatives in 2010 on a mandate to create jobs, the GOP focused on defunding planned parenthood and making government small enough to fit in a women’s vagina.

Republican controlled state houses have, by coincidence had the same priorities.

PoliticusUSA catalogued the volumes of bills that prove the existence of the GOP’s war on women.

Now, the GOP acknowledges there is a war on women and in classic form they resort to deflection and projection. But, Lipstick Liberal learned the GOP has done something else.

Watch here:

Transcript:

Republicans, Tea-Partiers, Conservative Americans, I’m talking to you today from the front lines of Republican War on Women, where an American Hero has been taken prisoner of that war!

A man whose taken down, Papa Bears

Mamma Grizzlies and Carl Rove shaped hams, Stephen Colbert must have been taken prisoner right after he took my money,because he never responded to my many, many, many, many attempts to reach him.

At first I thought he was too good for a me with his BIG cable news show

AND ZILLIONS of viewers.

But then, I saw this!

Don’t you see it? Behind his head?

That’s my logo! He’s using my logo!

Oh, at first, I thought I was crazy too. Until! You see it?

Liberal “slut only” weapons we use every time “we” have “s.e.x”.

Even the sham-wow!

I thought liberals JUST used ABORTION as birth control? What a sham…wow!

So my only conclusion is this,

As a “prisoner of the Republican war on women”, Stephen Colbert has been forced to go “underground” with his obvious love and admiration for Lipstick Liberal, thus requiring that he ONLY contact me through “secret-coded messages” played during his show. Messages Received.

But listen up GOP, you can take away my money, my health, my dignity

But you will NEVER, NEVER, NEVER take away my Stephen Colbert,

As our four-star General Betty White said, ” Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna get tough, grow a Vagina,

those things take a pounding!

Until next time Lipstick Liberal says(blows kiss) mmmmuuuuuuaaaa!!!!) I’m comin for ya Boehner!

End Transcript

The War on Women is so blatantly obvious, that even the GOP gave up on denying its existence. While forcing Stephen Colbert to go underground is a fictional account, it reflects the GOP’s desperation in the real world (well as real as politics can be.) The latest claim? The GOP’s war on women is in the name of preserving women. Yes, they are seriously making that claim.