Only On Fox: Tea Party Money Overrides Qualifications for Office

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Geraldo: Tea Party Money Overrides Qualifications for Office

When Geraldo Rivera is the voice of sanity in the current political quicksand of Fox News, you know things are not right in Murdoch land. Fox News is falling over itself to defend Christine O’Donnell, whom just days ago they were eviscerating. This is making for great entertainment akin to watching hucksters sell us Snuggies on an infomercial, but not everyone is on board the slight of hand shell game. Geraldo Rivera speaks out into the ethical vacuum and valueless wilderness that is the Fox Republican Party. He no likely Christine O’Donnell.

On today’s (September 17) edition of Fox News’ Fox & Friends, Geraldo points out O’Donnell has no qualifications for office. This moment of sanity doesn’t go over well with the Fox game show hosts and the infomercial hostesses, who are super busy trying to sell the oldsters some Christine O’Donnell as a “common sense conservative”.

Please make a note that “common sense conservative” now means “unqualified, tax evading, campaign finance thieving, being sued for financial malfeasance and lying about their record Tea Party candidate who bears no resemblance to a conservative but has fooled a lot of white people into believing in their eternal salvation via the Tea Party candidate.” So, yeah. Naturally, we’re all thinking common sense.

Listen here courtesy of Media Matters:

Geraldo: Oh, Christine O’Donnell, the one who had her house foreclosed and lived with the roommate and has 3,000 dollars in the bank –

Foxite game show host: –you haven’t had financial trouble?

Geraldo: —and never had a job and —

Foxite infomercial hostess: —Sounds like a typical American! (Because we all know we want typical Americans to run the Senate. What do those people do, anyway? It’s not like they need to know about laws or budgets, right? I mean, heck, if Palin is qualified to be VP, then O’Donnell can surely be a senator. Snobby Geraldo!)

Geraldo: If that’s a typical American, we are definitely in dire straights. But it’s interesting, Gretchen and I were on O’Reilly last night, so we had Krauthammer and Laura Ingram, so it was very interesting the way they both responded to Christine O’Donnell because I think it really summarizes the dilemma of the Republican Party.

Foxite infomercial hostess: Nods knowingly leaned forward to give a nice view of cleavage. Sell, sell, sell!

Geraldo: Laura Ingram said what you said, typical American, people relate to her problems, everyone has struggles, we gotta broaden – this is the same Laura Ingram who had excoriated Christine O’Donnell the first time she appeared on her program because she was like the guy in South Carolina – Alvin Green, the nut job rap star who’s running for –

Foxites in unison: Oh, yeah, yeah. (Laughter, this is more like it – slam Democrats, Geraldo, not Republicans!)

Geraldo: –senate, she compared her to that guy –

Foxite game show host: He’s got some porn problems! (Never waste a good deflection opportunity when you’re Fair and Balanced, people.)

Geraldo: He’s got a lot of problems. But you could argue so does Christine O’Donnell. Ah, but now, Laura Ingram who is a hard right person, is gonna give Christine O’Donnell a pass (um, Geraldo, didn’t you get the memo? Yesterday they hated her, but today they love her. What’s so hard about that? Try to keep up.) Krauthammer said her chances of election are — another conservative Republican pundit, but more mainstream, like Karl Rove (wow, these people really do live in a bubble if they think Karl Rove is mainstream. Read polls much?) Charles Krauthammer said she’s horrible, she’s a loser, one in ten chances of getting elected, but then ultimately —

Foxite infomercial hostess: He didn’t say it that strongly. (Help! I’m losing the sale!)

Geraldo: He was pretty strong, one in ten he said, that was the fresh, she has a one in ten chance of –

Fox infomercial hostess: You know what happens when Krauthammer and Rove keep sayin’ that? (juts out chin, turns up nose) The money keeps comin’ in for her! (And we all know money is proof of legitimacy and ability, especially when it comes to Bircher Brothers Tea Party money.)

Geraldo: But you know, you have just defined the Tea Party ah, the momentum that it has. If indeed, the tax payer revulsion (please note that this is a “populist movement” and try not to laugh) at government is so intense, that even Christine O’Donnell, someone who could never run for dog catcher in a normal year, look at her record, I mean seriously –

Foxite game show host: It’s not like the state chairman down in –

Geraldo: But the Republican chairman, not the Democratic chairman, the Republican – if she can overcome what used to be the- the markers for successful politicians and statesmen, that shows the extent of the passion –

Foxites all chime in: Right, right! (This is more like it, Geraldo; this fits in with the talking points regarding populist excitement we got this morning.)

Geraldo: As it can overwhelm not only your vested interests, but also obvious qualifications and she may do it.

It’s so cool the way Fox News has everyone play their part, almost as if this were a screenplay and not “news”. The Fox Infomercial Hostess plays the part of the conduit of the audience; she’s relatable and she sells via emotion– just look at how she’s dressed. The Fox Game Show Host plays the part of reasonable big daddy, who appeals to the ego of the skewing older male audience by telling them why they can buy what the Infomercial Hostess is selling but still feel good about themselves, because after all, those Democrats are losers. All the men wear suits and the Fox Infomercial Hostess wears skin. We note that the camera goes to her for close-ups often. And Geraldo brings up the rear by unwittingly playing the part of sanity (role not in original script, I might add).

The fact that Fox’s audience of Goldline buyers have no problem with the teeter totter of Foxites’ positions is one thing, but when Geraldo Rivera is the voice of reason on a “news” network, one really needs to stop and drink in the Idiocracy. You can’t make this stuff up.

Fox Republican Party is still hawking the notion that qualifications for office and personal ethics have no bearing on whether someone is qualified for office. What matters, according to them, is that someone is “approachable” and “an average American”. By approachable, they mean willing to come on only Fox News, and by average American, they mean they have long since given up on their claimed value of meritocracy because they figure they can sell more gold to the American people if it comes in a good looking package.

Fox News: where brain cells go to die and average Americans go to get sold a bunch of crap they don’t need and can’t afford.

Geraldo Rivera joins one of few sane voices left, though this is relative term, considering his assessment of Karl Rove being a mainstream conservative. Karl Rove, is of course, also a subpoena dodging criminal, but I suppose that goes without saying once we’ve established that he is both a past Republican big shot and on Fox News.

The new meme is that if you get a lot of money from the Koch Brothers, it follows that you are qualified for office. Of course, this logic only applies if you are a Bircher extremist who is so eager so see white people take back the country that you would vote for Christine O’Donnell and or send her a dime of your hard earned money.

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