A Bridge (To Nowhere) Burned: Fox News Dumps Sarah Palin

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Last updated on February 8th, 2013 at 12:29 am

I bring you sad news from the tundra, patriots. Sarah Palin will no longer be offering her “analysis” on Fox “News”. Yes, they have dropped her. Or, as the PR people say, the contract negotiations did not result in her contract being renewed but oh, it was SO great working with her and they wish her all the best in her future endeavors (industry speak for “You’re going nowhere”).

The New York Times reported:

Bill Shine, an executive vice president at Fox, said in a statement, “We have thoroughly enjoyed our association with Governor Palin. We wish her the best in her future endeavors.”

Sarah Palin is no longer employed by Fox.

The writing has been on the wall since Palin ignored the advice of Roger Ailes and made the blood libel video after the Gabby Giffords shooting. The last straw seemed to be when she didn’t announce that she wasn’t running for president in 2012 on Fox News. It seems the whole point of hiring her was so that Fox could cash in when she ran in 2012, but what the execs at Fox never anticipated was how perfectly inept Sarah Palin was at being Sarah Palin.

Her appearances on Fox constantly teetered towards disaster. Her one attempt at hosting a show on the network was so horridly unprofessional that a second episode was never aired. Fox News ended up paying Sarah Palin millions of dollars to hang out occasionally with Sean Hannity, but mostly to hang out with her BFF Greta Van Susteren.

Unlike when they dumped Glenn Beck, there was no pretense of maybe someday working together again. Fox News kicked Palin out, and locked the door behind them. Despite being the 2008 VP candidate for the Republican Party, Sarah Palin was barely an afterthought on Fox News’ 2012 election coverage. Without Fox News, Sarah Palin will fall off the right wing media cliff. Glenn Beck is still around and making tons of money, but when is the last time anybody mentioned Beck? When talent gets kicked off the Fox News island, they are out of sight out of mind for the conservative movement.

The days of bendy straws and jets might be over for Ms. Palin, but she still has her family’s taxpayer funded reality TV shows to live for. Also, too, she’s still being photographed grocery shopping in Los Angeles (so celeb!), while looking perilously close to the teeny Hollywood starlets she was once so offended by, so life is GREAT. No bitterness here! Freedom fighters should still donate to her PAC, though, because she is totally relevant and fighting Kenyans from her backyard.

America wants to know: Does she have to return her home studio equipment, and if so, how will the world hear the screech of freedom? No worries, comrades. Palin can still be seen posting from the wilds of her Facebook Page, or as it may be known among law enforcement, the best source for finding radical secessionists very likely willing to break the law — if only they weren’t so busy trying to save their Medicare from the tyranny of socialism. It’s the spirit that counts.